Why Are We Not Paying Attention to Women and Girls?

This is a question we should address upfront. Why are we focusing on men and boys when women are still fighting for equal rights, equal pay and social empowerment? The answer is simple: these are not zero-sum challenges. Concern for men and boys does not negate our concern for women and girls. Only there are far fewer opportunities for men to collaborate on their own challenges.

Women have made tremendous strides in higher education, career advancement, average earned income and leadership roles, although top positions are still overwhelmingly occupied by men. Nonetheless we need to acknowledge the successes women have achieved in so many areas.

Then there is the observation that women talk to each other. They chat about worldly issues as well as personal matters. Few of these conversations occur without sociable physical contact. Men are handicapped in all of these areas, but only through socialization. There is nothing intrinsically masculine about an inability to speak frankly and honestly about our predicament as men.

With the help of mindfulness meditation and guided discussion, men may learn to speak frankly together, address the issues in their lives, and open their hearts to compassion, love and generosity.

Of course there are some subtle issues that both women and men should be concerned about. For instance, how does the rise of single-parent households led by women impact young boys? More generally, how are children doing now that in most families, both parents work full-time jobs? To what extent do young boys and girls need same-sex role models, and what happens when one parental figure is missing?

That said, women can be powerful allies in our efforts to free men from the restraints of traditional, old-school masculinity. Whether it is a brother, partner or acquaintance, supporting their decision to engage in "bro time" can be very significant. What we do in the Shine a Light project would not be possible without the ancient desire to gather as men and discuss what is it means to be a man.